Does my autistic friend really want to see me? (Or, how to explain to your neurotypical friends when you want to make plans but are too burnt out)
A few days ago, someone approached me with concern: "I have this friend of a friend who I think is absolutely amazing, and I'd really like to get to know him myself. We've hung out and had conversations, and I always feel like it went well, but whenever we talk about doing something together, he says he's interested but then ignores any efforts I make to schedule the activity. He's autistic and I don't want to distance him based on a misread of his intentions, but I also don't want to annoy him if he's not interested. How do I know whether he's disinterested, or just not communicating in a way that I'm understanding?" It occurred to me that this is probably a question others have had about me -- likely on multiple occasions -- so I want to share my response with all of you. First, a general disclaimer: autistics aren't all alike, we don't all feel the same way and communicate the same way. I try to keep my posts as general and repr